Fresh Information reaching BAD NEWS desk from our KOT DIGITAL REPORTER is startling. We say so because the KOT Digital Reporter is trembling at the weight of the information. The reporter informs us that there is some sTRANGE MIGRATION OF DUBIOUS TALENT currently ongoing between HF Group and NBK. The reporter has broken it down to TWO CASE STUDIES.
CASE STUDY 1>>>= PIUS MUTUA (Pictures withheld)
PIUS MUTUA was working for KCB Bank as a mortgage specialist. When KCB Bank launched a Voluntary Early Retirement Scheme (VERS) last year, WILFRED MUSAU (NBK skirt-chasing MD) being a very good friend to Pius Mutua advised him to take the VERS option as he would give him a job in NBK.
Pius Mutua heeded the call and went by Wilfred Musau’s Advice. He applied for the VER Scheme and was paid his KSH 10 Million by KCB.
Through Wilfred Musau’s spirit of sexual perversion otherwise described as “Incubus & Succubus”, Pius Mutua with the Help of Wilfred Musau squandered the KSH. 10 Million on Alcohol and Women.
Pius Mutua chose to forget that Wilfred Musau has several fraudulent channels of making money including Hacking a bank system together with his Thief Agent, one Reuben Koech.
During one of their drinking sprees after Christmas, our KOT Digital Reporter overheard Pius Mutua desperately begging for a job in NBK. Wilfred Musau was in the company of his Sex Vessel, Alice Nyokabi (a second wife to a senior but noisy politician you know).
As a way of pulling rank, Wilfred Musau made Pius Mutua to kneel down before him and the married slay-queen, begging for a job. Ta-Imagini!!!!!!.
KOT has information that HR Director was forced into inviting PIUS MUTUA to an interview. HR Director is none other than RODGERS MUNGUMI. Rodgers Mungumi previously worked in KRA as a Junior HR associate but to spruce up his profile, NBK describes his role as “Human Resource Development & Performance Management”. You will agree with me that there is no such title even in Industrial area let alone Listed companies.
NBK goes ahead to say on their website that he has memberships in IHRM and HCI, associations that only exist on the website. You will understand that memberships to these HR associations are RIDICULOUSLY VALUELESS when you meet people like Rodgers Mungumi and realize that there roles are restricted to TAKING FRAUDULENT INSTRUCTIONS AND NOT THINKING. Coming from KRA, a set-up where corruption instructions from the Director General are implemented without question, we are forced to start understanding why he has never grown a pair of balls.
These HR Associations are also valueless because there is no penalty to Improper HR Practice and if there is any, only exists on paper gathering dust in one of Nairobi offices.
So Pius Mutua was interviewed for the Mortgage specialist position, EMERGED THIRD but immoral Wilfred Musau feels morally obligated to give PIUS MUTUA a job for the following reasons:
1.) He already knelt before his slay queen.
2.) He already helped him squander his KSH 10 Million VERS lump sum.
3.) Most importantly, he is a miserable son of a Kamba man. You know it’s a desert?
Despite emerging THIRD, we are told Wilfred Musau has sneaked an approval request to his Co-Criminal Hassan Mohammed for sanctioning. According to Wilfred Musau, a THIRD BEST candidate must be rewarded. Where are the First TWO? Hati tutafute na Google-Maps?
CASE STUDY 2>>>= IAN NDENDERU (Pictures withheld)
There is one IAN NDENDERU who was working with WILFRED MUSAU in KCB Bank. In KCB, they were known as KICK-BACK PARTNERS. This is because they used to run customers dry before giving them Loans. You remember Park Place? (Musau’s Unique Kickback Format)
In KCB Bank, DHINGS got DHICK and when Wilfred Musau left, IAN NDENDERU found the performance pressure unbearable and left for HF Group. While at HF group, he failed to deliver but luckily, HF Group is an environment where performance was appraised on the level of Fraudulent transactions you successfully handed to the CEO.
Luck would eventually run out for him when HF Group’s Chief Fraudster (Frank Ireri) asked him to resign. But why was he asked to resign? IAN NDENDERU, as Frank Ireri’s Designated CIT (Cash In Transit) officer picked a generous booty from HF Group’s Komarock Project Contractor, CM Construction. Remember CM construction got funds on unsecured basis (Nyakundi Tweet)
Unfortunately, this money (KSH 30 Million carried in bags) was meant for Frank Ireri, the corporate Fraud Cancer. IAN NDENDERU would proceed and gamble with luck. He delivered KSH 25 Million to Frank Ireri but phantomed away with KSH 5 Million not knowing CM Construction’s signatory already informed the Banking Fraud Cancer (Frank Ireri mwenyewe).
IAN NDENDERU is now out in the cold streets of Nairobi as a result of a fall-out. But wait there is more. IAN is a drinking pal of Wilfred MUSAU and was recently captured (by our KOT Digital Reporter) drinking with Wilfred Musau where he was firmly promised of a position in NBK. Could this be the much anticipated re-grouping of KCB rascals?
Interestingly, we are reliably informed that IAN NDENDERU’s wife (our source refused to reveal the name) works at NBK as a Senior Relationship Manager (We already told you what this role is all about). Our source asserted with certainty that IAN NDENDERU’s wife was rescued from UBA Bank where she was weighed down by depressing performance on her objectives. We are told the then Nigerian CEO of UBA admired her derrière and transferred her from Operations department to Customer relationship without her consent but that’s beside the point. Perhaps the Nigerian CEO thought visible derrière was a selling point and could act as a substitute for passion and knowledge. Later, it was the same Nigerian CEO who publicly sworn by his mother’s birth canal to sack IAN NDENDERU’s wife only to be rescued by NBK. But as I always tell you, KARMA is a bitch and always in the neighborhood doing press-ups. It is the same fraudulent customer (robed as a Trade Finance Client) introduced to the bank by IAN NDENDERU’s wife that sent the Nigerian CEO parking, paving way for Isaac Mwige as the first ever indigenous CEO.
It remains fodder for the eyes to see how a family of a Kick-Back Specialist & a Non-Performer will work together to fulfil NBK’s vision.
Much like those boys in primary school, who during Physical Education (PE) could fart (kushuta) in one group then rush to the next group before their anal emission starts manifesting itself. He would then leave people in the first group wandering, Nani ameshuta hapa? National Bank of Kenya is a club of Thieves courtesy of Wilfred Musau.